Knowing that people do indeed judge you and that some people have a completely opposite view of the world than you do.
Being truly ok with that isn’t a small thing for most people.
We are wired for acceptance. Our initial survival depended on at least one adult accepting us enough to feed us.
There is, of course, a range of how much we share because we are wired for acceptance.
The goal is to find those who vibe with you.
It doesn’t have to be all aspects all the time because we are multi-faceted. We have a variety of interests and tastes.
Here are a list of things that I like, outside of family,
Technology - understanding and using it - talking and working with geeks
Yoga - the peace, balance, meditation
Bellydance - the music, community, creativity
Business building - creating value in the world
Marketing - sharing value with the world
Driving my Mustang - for fun, so much fun
This blend makes me unique and also allows me to stand out in the various communities.
But do I share all the aspects of me in all the communities? Of course not. I typically don’t share in corporate that I am a bellydancer because I know many people’s stereotype idea of what a bellydancer is and I am NOT that. I typically don't talk a lot about my Mustang when hanging out with yogis because it is not an eco-friendly vehicle. If I do mention those things in those groups, I know, for certain, that I will stand out because they are so different from the norms of those groups.
In a lot of ways, that is the point.
However, there is a risk in doing so. I risk being judged. I risk being pushed to the margins of the group which can have financial impacts as well as social impacts. And it is possible that no one would actively say anything to my face, but I would feel it. This post itself has some risk.
But there is also value. By standing out, I get noticed. There are those who will like what I do precisely because it is different. To a yoga studio owner, the fact that I like marketing and technology might be the very thing they need to help grow their studio.
The question then becomes - how comfortable am I with all that and saying “I’m not for everyone”?
To the degree of that comfort is the degree of freedom one has.
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